Change

Well, the start to turning my life around began. I cant believe it, I actually got through a whole day with someone that I was told didn't like me. We actually had fun, laughing, drinking, and enjoying each others company. Major points scored, if you ask me. As it turns out, we both had fun and I really enjoy her company. Go figure. Well, I have done not always good things in my life. What I mean by that is that I haven't always been truthful, mostly to my self. And that hurts no one but me. Sometimes I am a little over zealous and my ego gets big, but hey, isn't that the way a type A personality is? So far following this rigorous divorce, I have been challenged by life. I have overcome many obstacles and have probably hurt a few people in the after math of my divorce. For that I want to tell them I'm sorry. But, I am changing. I have challenged myself, to not fudge in anyway on honesty or commitment to my goals and the way I want to live my life. I'm honestly sick and tired of the way things have been going for me. There is more to my life, and I know I am meant to do something great in my life. Since I came into the Navy I have had this feeling that there is something missing, something more that I should be doing for humanity. I really feel that I must leave an impression in this world and right now, I feel that I am not even making a dent in the way things are going in this country or the world. I feel like I am stuck in Ground Hog day, every day the same thing, I wake up, go to work, come home, workout, watch TV, sleep and do the same thing, day in and day out. I'm honestly sick and tired of this. Its not my job, because honestly, really, lets face it, my job is AWESOME. I mean where else can a person jump out of planes and be at the fore front in a fight all at the same time. I love it. But I just have a feeling that my uses or my role can be apart of a much bigger picture. I'm still looking for that role that I need to fill. But for right now I have started to change my life with little things. Like Running for instance. Waking up in the morning early, right after the sun comes over the horizon and its glowing across the dew lit grass. Its so calming and elegant in its own way. BEAUTIFUL. So I am working up to actually doing that. I am putting together a list of things I want to personally accomplish prior to my 35th birthday. I know that is a while away, but lets face it, it takes time to go to those foreign countries.